dianabaabe:

oldprickbitches:

Omfg I was sitting in a room with a bunch of my aunts, uncles and cousins and my grandma had this weird smile on her face so I asked her what was up and she just looked at me and said “everyone in this house is alive thanks to my vagina”

gunna fucking do that when i grow older

starllex:

rneerkat:

rneerkat:

how does real estate greet other real estate 

house it going

meladoodle:

bologna is a fucked up word

selenium-:

dragon ball z cakeballs

uriels:

fairly certain that my physics textbook snapchats are my greatest achievement in life

carradineway:

harryedward:

Vine needs to be stopped

Spitted my whole water out, fam.

dongstrider:

im—really—weird:

psyducked:

I wish there were necklaces given to us at birth that were half of a unique shape and your soulmate wore the other half and they got warmer the closer together you were and colder the further away you were so you could go on this journey when you’re ready to find your other half so that you could be spared all the pain and heartbreak of being played with by those who don’t take dating as seriously as you do

somebody please write a book on this

swagjustice:

pulitzerprincess:

looks like some of y’all will have a little problem next year 

#why blaze it when you can praise it

sofapizza:

i have a bad feeling about my prescription.

cummingtonites:

“gotta keep an eye out for selener”